Kentucky – Louisville (Kentucky Derby Edition)

I went to the Kentucky Derby this year to celebrate my friend’s 30th birthday. Three of us ladies drove 500 miles from Kansas City, Missouri to Louisville, Kentucky. Our goal was to spend as little as possible, while still having the time of our lives. We were in for a weekend of shenanigans.

The best way to describe Derby is an entire hot mess weekend filled with really sloppy drunkards.  Before we even entered the Churchill Downs gate at 10am, I was fully entertained by the masses. The term “baby deer” will be referenced frequently throughout the rest of the post. This is how I describe drunk, sorority girls wearing skin tight dresses in five inch heels. Their knees are slightly bent to help balance their body weight due to the instability of outrageous shoes, which are visibly painful to all onlookers. Their coordination is compromised causing them to awkwardly stumble and stagger, similar to a fawn, or baby deer.1551696_10205600798517444_7770965460477064402_n

Those who haven’t experienced the Kentucky Derby before probably imagine a very high class event, where rich people wear fancy hats and have sophisticated conversations. This may be true in the stands, but when you buy the cheapest tickets for the infield, this is not the case. The infield is a giant flustercluck filled with drunk people, who have no where to sit down other than in the dirt. I can’t even quantify the number of genitals I saw, or the amount of patrons with bodily fluids on their clothes. If you are still having issues creating a visual, I suggest YouTube searching, “Kentucky Derby Infield.”

Me being the responsible adult that I am, didn’t realize I forgot my driver’s license at home until I ordered my first drink. Fortunately, I was never left for wanting. This could either be because Kentuckians aren’t overly concerned with underage drinking, or my 25 year old face really looks 55 (still up for debate). Around 6pm, and many mint juleps later, we were crowded around a big screen watching the final race. The excitement in the crowd is exhilarating and contagious. The hordes of people were screaming as the horses neared the finish line. Our eyes were glued to the screen, as American Pharoah crossed the finish line.

Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs is something to experience in your lifetime. The people watching and excitement is like none other. Another item off my bucketlist!

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